Featured in the Westmont Ridley-Tree Museum of Art from 4/5/2018—5/5/2018 as part of the show Degrees of Separation.

I, along with many others, struggle with an anxiety/panic disorder, and there are days when it’s hard to even carry my own weight. It’s difficult to describe what it’s like to live with mental illness, it is often a very cyclical and repetitive pattern of brokenness and recovery. Living anxiety free will likely never be a reality for me, but it’s possible to feel whole and brave by getting up again and again, to stand while feeling fragile and broken.

Repetition is a core component of my work as an artist, and a recently recurring theme that I have found myself working with are the words “again and again.” They perfectly capture the repetitive nature of recovery, so I decided to use them as the basis of this piece by depicting someone simply standing up and using these words to build the form as it rises. Using silkscreens, I’ve printed this phrase again and again directly on the wall to convey the conflicting permanent and yet fleeting nature of anxiety. I won’t be able to take this piece with me when this show is over, but it will live forever on this wall under all the layers of paint that come with the future exhibitions. In the same way, I’m learning to let go of the idea that anxiety is my defining characteristic while still honoring that it has played an overwhelming part in making me who I am today.